Tag: child


the enemy of marriage (& a poll!)


The only thing you have to do to fail at marriage is NOTHING

So you probably get it by now that I am in favor of marriage.  Marriage is important.  It’s vitally important to defend and fight for your marriage.  No matter what’s going on, aside from outright abuse, your marriage is worth a fight.  It’s worth laying aside all your pride, rolling up your sleeves and getting in the mud and muck and fighting like all of hell is after you.  Because it is.

Satan hates a strong, godly marriage where the family puts God first and rejects the world’s image of disposable marriages, discounted vows, discouraged couples and disaffected children, dismantled stability, discarded families.  You’d better believe he’s after your marriage.

The only thing you have to do to fail at marriage is NOTHING

As you’ve seen, if you have read here much at all, our marriage was very atypical in many ways.  We didn’t have that crazy first year with tons of sex and exploring our intimate life together, figuring out what we liked best, what each other wanted most, etc.  Our first year was confusing…bewildering even.  We didn’t understand why sex was so hard for us…for me.  We were still hanging on to hope that time would take care of the issues, that it was just a matter of “trying more” or getting used to it…or SOMEthing!!

By the time we finally decided we needed medical help, we had been dealing with it for ten years, had two kids and for all intents and purposes, we looked like every other young couple.  Nobody knew how we were struggling.  We didn’t talk to anyone about it, not even each other except to yell when the frustration became too much.

I want to get Tommy to sit down with me and do a video.  I’m not sure what he’ll think about that ha ha but I think it would be good for him to at least say a little bit about his side of things.  We are both healing together.  Even though the physical side of the problem was mine as far as the pain went, and perhaps I bore more of the depression and stuff like that, but he carried a lot of emotional pain as well.

We’ve never talked a whole lot about that.  I mean, I have shared a little, just me and him, about how I felt and then of course, he’s heard me relate it to my therapist and read what I’ve written here about it, but we’ve never really discussed his side so much.

He might not want to.  Maybe he never knew how to voice it or maybe it hurt too much to speak out loud.  I have been in that place too, where I didn’t know how to put into words the way I felt.

I know there are a few men who read here, or at least they have at one time.  heh  I would like to hear from ALL of you, what you would ask Tommy?  Are there parts of this story that you’d like his take on?  Are there things that you would like to know from his side?

Please put those in the comments for us?  I would really love for us to have a conversation about where he was, emotionally, and where he is now as we are in the healing process.  What would he have done differently?  What would he keep the same, if anything?  What made him choose to stay?  Did he really still  have hope that our sex life would ever be remotely normal?  Those are the questions I want to ask.  I’m not sure I’ll like the answers, but I think it’s important for us to flesh this out and I feel like maybe others could benefit from hearing his viewpoint.

DON’T FORGET!  Leave your questions in the comments!  (or you can email them to me at:  geannie [at] lifeindogyears [dot] com)

THANK YOU!!

Blessings,

G~


mommy: one word that can contain the world


mom and me- my first Christmas 1967

It’s that time of year again.  Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday.  I can’t imagine what my friends go through who have lost their mothers or perhaps don’t have the most loving moms.  I am so thankful for my mom, even though she can drive me up a wall at times.  She is the most giving person I know and she’ll kill herself trying to do for you, almost to the point of being ridiculous.  I have a hard time keeping up with her or getting her to “behave”.  She isn’t able anymore to work circles around everyone like she used to so I try to get her to take it easy.  She’s getting a little better at it, but let one of us girls (me or my sis) get sick and need help and she goes crazy.

mom and me- my first Christmas 1967

I have always been the opposite of her.  Sometimes on purpose and sometimes not!  She’s always superbly coifed and dressed to perfection while I am only comfy in jeans and tennis shoes.  She is always worried about how everyone else perceives her (and us) while I usually couldn’t care less.  She tends to be a nagger while I am more apt to take a less confrontational approach.  She’s one of the only people on the earth who I love fiercely and want to strangle at the time time.  Ha ha!

Thank you, Mom, for teaching me about manners and etiquette, for taking care of me all the millions of times I’ve needed you, for not killing me when I deserved it.  For supporting me in your own way as I became a mom and did things completely different from you.  Thanks for the kind words you have said or written about me to others that you probably don’t realize I know about.  Even when I have been heartbroken over problems between us, I have always been thankful for you.

I pray you have an amazing Mother’s Day and EVERY day.  I pray for you improved health and a closer walk with Jesus as we plod on into the future together as a family.  I pray blessings on you each and every day!  I love you, Mom.

me and mom 2010


an open letter to the t1d mom…


Dear Type 1 Diabetic Mom,

I know you.

I know you are tired.  Tired of worrying about your health and how you can take care of it, your baby, your home, your job, your marriage, your other kids…every other thing in your life that stresses out the most healthy of moms.  I know adding t1d to the mix can create sheer havoc.  I know it’s easy to feel bitter, angry and completely cheated.

I know that being a mom is a monumentally hard job.  I also know that being a mom with t1d increases the difficulty exponentially!

Sometimes.

Something else I know is that it’s doable.  Yes, it’s hard.

It’s the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life.  But you can do it.  I know, because I did it.

type 1 diabetic mothers

Type 1 Diabetic Mothers

Yeah, and if I can do it, so can you.

I have two healthy, productive, intelligent grown sons to show for all the effort to take the best care of myself that I could in order to best care for them.  It was worth every poke, every extra test, every extra bag I packed for my supplies that added to all the things I already had to keep up with for them.  It was worth every tear I cried in private, tears of exhaustion, of fear, of despair feeling that I just couldn’t do it one more minute.

I have to tell you my secret.  You may or may not see it as something that would work for you.  I understand that, but for me, without this “secret weapon”, I would not have made it.  I wouldn’t have survived to escort my boys into adulthood.

My “secret” was (and IS) Jesus.  Without my faith, I could not deal with the reality of diabetes.  I couldn’t deal with the ups, downs and sideways, upside down spirals that it creates in my life.   I encourage you to investigate Him at the very least.  For so many other things in my life, He is my Sustainer, but for motherhood, He was indeed my Savior and thus, the reason my children are who and what they are today.  I am immensely proud of them and thankful for all the Lord has done in their lives.

Another thing that will be essential for “getting through” motherhood with t1d is HELP!  You do not have to do it alone.  Nor are you supposed to.  If you are a single mother on top of it, reach out to friends and family.  If your husband isn’t as supportive as he should be, call on others to help you.  ANY mother is well within her rights, and responsibilities for that matter, to ask for help when she needs it.  If you don’t, you risk failing even more!  ASKING FOR HELP IS NOT FAILURE…IT IS WISDOM.

In my opinion, that’s good advice for ANY mom or any person!   Don’t let pride keep you from reaching out for help when you need it!  That’s just foolish!

Back to you, T1D Mom… I know there will be days when you just can’t seem to get your blood sugars to cooperate.  No matter what you do, no matter that you’re doing everything the doctor has instructed, the disease will not cooperate.  It will become a monster on those days and it is one you will simply have to resign yourself to fight.  Your health and your children are worth ever effort you make.

I KNOW it’s hard.  I know there are times when you just want to quit!  You don’t want to try anymore to control this raging beast that is sometimes T1D.

But do it anyway.  Do It ANYWAY.

You are not alone.  Others have gone before you.  They are walking beside you and coming behind you in this epic battle to remain physically healthy and mentally sane while being a mother with type 1 diabetes.  Your only mission is

               do NOT give up!

I hope this has encouraged you to look for the brighter side, to focus on the good and remember that this season of your life won’t last forever.

If I can help you, encourage you or maybe just reassure you that no matter how bad it may seem, you can’t afford to give up…contact me.  Leave a comment, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter or email me.  All my info is in the sidebar!  I want to remind you… you have too much at stake to let this disease defeat you!  Let me encourage you and let’s encourage each other!

Blessings!

G~