Hey, everyone! I hope you are all safe during this crazy-weather season. Without cable, I don’t have access to the 24/7 coverage of Hurricane Harvey’s destruction down in Texas, but I have family in the Houston area so I am keeping up with things through my mom or snippets of news I see online. So far, thank God, they are all safe and have not lost anything to the flood waters. My prayers are for all those who are trying to live through this and for those who have gone down there to help. God bless them all with safety and meet their needs!
THING 1 I AM TOTALLY NOT LOVING:
I wanted to pop on and share a few things that I’ve been doing lately… like looking for a remote job, for one.
I’m hooked up with RRR (Rat Race Rebellion), Remote, LinkedIn and Indeed. I have been on LinkedIn for ages and never thought about looking for work there, but more to promote the blog and network with people. It was suggested to have a resume on Indeed as well, so I went to sign up on Indeed only to find out that sometime or other, I had already set up an account there.
Sheesh! I hate when I don’t keep track of that kind of stuff, but I made sure my info was still correct, updated the resume and never really thought any more about it until I got an email through Indeed.
I was SO excited at the prospect. The lady said she was an attorney relocating from Pennsylvania to Kentucky in a city near me and needed an assistant for both office and personal errands. It sounded like a great job and I was really thinking “What a great blessing!”
After letting her know I was interested, she asked for some info about me, just an informal bio-type of thing so I told her I was an empty-nest mom, married 32 years who had worked in bookkeeping, office management, retail management and most recently in various call-center jobs including a few government contracts. I told her I’d homeschooled my sons and how they are doing in their jobs. For some reason, I feel a need to include this somehow on my resumes because it seems to be proof that I did a good job. (ha ha! I don’t go into how it was mostly God that did it because He had to hold me together through most of it!)
So anyway…she replied that it sounded like I was perfect for the job and she wanted to “secure me” now as she was going to be leaving for Turkey soon to arrange to bring her two children back with her. She told me this stuff in that second email, but her mother currently cared for the children but no explanation as to why. This was sort of odd to me, but then when she said she wanted to advance me a weeks’ pay and have me start immediately “to test proficiency” and so that I’d be ready to help her get started as soon as she got back when “mind you there will be a formal interview when I return” so it seemed legit enough but something about the way she had misspelled some words (a pet peeve of mine, however, I don’t think I’m nazi-ish about it) and that it seemed as if English wasn’t her first language (also not something I would normally judge someone on, but an attorney in America? I’d think being well-versed in using the language would be a must, ya know?) So I got suspicious about it.
I haven’t been able to find ANYONE in the Pennsylvania town she gave as her current location by her name. She hasn’t given me the name of a firm, so I assumed she was opening her own practice here, but there should be SOME mention of her name if she’s been practicing there at all, right?
** sigh ** Oh, and did I mention she wanted to pay me $500/week to work part time? That is of course why I was thrilled to think about taking the position, but then to advance me that sight-unseen? Um… say it with me, FISHY! So, I found a forum on Indeed and asked if there was any way to check out a potential employer through the website. All I got was “If it sounds fishy to you, it probably is. Scammers make me furious!”
She wanted just the name of my bank, and then the other info she asked for would be available on my resume. So I’m going to reply that she can find all that information there and then I’d prefer her to pay me through Paypal this first time until we can do the formal interview. Let’s see what response I get from that.
Gah. I’m so sad. I thought for sure God had dropped the perfect job in my lap! (almost perfect–it was still going to require that I drive 40-some miles several times a week each way to work in the office– I really want a remote job but thought for part time, it would probably be a good way to get out of the house a bit)
Ah well… if He DID do this, it will all work out, but if not, I am so thankful He gave me the good sense not to just shoot her my info in a fit of giddiness about a part-time $500/wk fake job!
Have any of you dealt with this kind of thing? I mean, I’ve seen the emails that say “Work from home, 5 minutes a day and make $100k/year!” Ha! Those are so obviously a bunch of crapola. But this one was much sneakier.
How would you respond (or would you respond at all?) to a job offer like this?
THING 2 I AM TOTALLY NOT LOVING:
deceitful people online (or in real life, for that matter!)
The other thing I am not crazy about right now is the high cost of dental care. If you know me, you know this has become the bane of my existence! Due to diabetes, my teeth are more prone to decay anyway, but I also inherited just awful teeth from my mother. She was about my age when her teeth just began to fall apart.
Thanks, Mom. Mine are doing the same right now. Seriously, there’s a lot to be said about good “teeth genes” because my husband takes MUCH less care of his teeth and has had maybe ONE cavity in our entire marriage. My kids, thank God, got some of that trait from their dad. Well, thank God for the good “teeth genes” but not for their dental hygiene habits. They are as bad at caring for their teeth but have little to no problems with their teeth either, so praise God for that one!
My teeth are just SO brittle and they are literally falling apart. Not all of them at once, thank the Lord, but enough of them to cause me a lot of trouble and getting them fixed is just ungodly expensive! I’ve had so far about 4 teeth pulled either because of a deep cavity that I opted not to fix or because the tooth just broke and instead of paying for a crown, I said, “Just pull it!” That plan has worked fine until the last one. The tooth had just crumbled apart after having a chunk break off of it a few months prior. Of course, my dentist had been nagging me to let him fix it. After it crumbled that way, it left some fragments in the gum that were like little knives that I tried to manage. At first, they would only cut my tongue occasionally and I could deal with that. But then, since I have some allergies and also something called geographic tongue (yes, it’s a thing…click on it and see what that’s about!) so when something causes a reaction, my tongue gets very angry and sore and it hurts like the devil! By the time I’d had enough and set up the appointment to have those fragments pulled, I was afraid I’d possibly set up cancer because there was this ugly, inflamed hole in the bottom of my tongue where it had rubbed against those tooth-fragment knives for so long. I’m serious…it was a defined hole with a scary white ridge around the edges. And it HURT so bad!!!
Thank God, though, once I got those fragments pulled, the hole healed up and went away, but now I have just one molar behind that one and the gap left by the missing tooth feels massive which makes it feel like I don’t have much to chew with on my left side. And now, as of about a month ago, an old crown came out on the top right leaving behind, you guessed it…some little tooth fragments. Thankfully, they aren’t nearly as huge or sharp so they’re not bothering me except that with only one molar behind that gap as well, once again I have little left to chew with over there. And while the fragments don’t cut my tongue, it does hurt like crazy if I accidentally bite down on something
with those little suckers. Try as I might, it’s hard not to let a bit of food slip over in that gap and it will mash against those fragments and send pain shooting through my face. It usually bleeds too which only adds to the ghastliness
of the situation, right?
I have decided I won’t spend a bunch of money to fix my crappy teeth anymore. What I WANT to do is have dental
implants, but then again, that definitely is going to cost a ton of money. BUT it should be a more permanent solution, so that’s what I am holding out for… I’m just not sure how long I can hold out. My oral surgeon recommended I wait til absolutely necessary to do that. He said he has an aversion to yanking out perfectly good teeth, especially from a diabetic. And then there’s the whole process of implants… pull any remaining teeth, wait possibly up to 6 months for that to heal, then place the implants, go through the healing process for them and then several visits to make sure they are properly fitted and aligned and so forth.
So, I’m waiting. Impatiently, but I’m waiting all the same.
THING 3 I AM TOTALLY NOT LOVING:
dental work and expense
So, friends… what kind of things are going on with you lately that you just really hate? Do you also struggle to afford dental care? Do you have dental insurance (because I do, but it’s not worth a whole lot once they tell you what they won’t cover!)? Are you a fanatic about dental care or do you avoid it? I guess I’m somewhere in the middle.
That’s where I am these day. Torn, and swinging wildly between, being overjoyed and heartbroken enough I have to fight back the tears.
To some it may seem trivial. Maybe it is something other people expect to happen, but for me, the thought that this might happen has never entered my mind.
My baby is moving away.
I knew that a company in Ohio had reached out to Corey about a position and that he’d gone up for a meet-and-greet-slash-interview. I knew he’d sent them the resume they requested. I knew he’d been looking into the company, trying to learn more about them, see if it was something he even wanted to consider.
I also knew that all he’d discovered was very positive and desirable!
After the first meeting, he was disappointed because the man from the finance department of the company (they are big enough to have ‘departments’) told him they had initially wanted him for a management position, but then his age and lack of experience with a large company made them think he might not be ready for that yet.
To me, at that time, it was encouraging. I mean, I told you I was torn, guys. I wasn’t kidding!! I was so proud that a huge company like that was considering hiring my boy for a high position, not to mention that they instigated the contact! It didn’t bother me that they were leery of him due to his young age and his lack of a college degree. Most places are very big on a piece of paper from a university that says you know certain stuff. I am of the opinion, however, that personal experience and the ability to teach one’s self and learn whatever is necessary is much more valuable than a degree that may or may not be a true indication of the person’s knowledge. Of course, there’s not a lot of quantifiable proof for personal experience and the ability to self-teach either, but I’ve seen for myself that it’s a definite advantage in many areas of life.
I guess, deep down, I was content with knowing that Corey could attract attention from a big company, that he presented himself well and wasn’t lacking in any way from being homeschooled. I mean, it was on his resume, after all. They knew he had been taught at home. I sorta felt that would be the end of it. Which wasn’t a relief entirely because, confession time: I’ve been praying for both my boys to be able to get away from all the stress they have with their jobs.
Yes, I should have been praising God for answered prayer, but you know how it goes. Sometimes God answers in a way you never considered. Kinda like praying for patience, so God lets you break your leg. “There.” He might say. “Patience is earned, my child.” All the while, I imagine He’s snickering to Himself. Bahaha!
But seriously, it would be a big relief to see them have jobs where they weren’t constantly being brow-beaten and put down and having to deal with my dad. I feel like I’ve posted about this whole complicated mess-of-a relationship before, but I’m not positive about that and I can’t find any reference to it, so I’ll try to explain while keeping it short.
My father has always been an entrepreneurial type of fella. Always had his own business. Everything from a coal tipple to a paving business, a wood burning stove store, therapeutic massage chairs to spray foam insulation. You name it, he’s prolly done it or at least thought about it. Excavation is where he always excelled. He was good on a dozer and so began a core drilling business. That led to him being asked to help bulldoze roads during a forest fire so the firefighters could access the fire. Finally, he began this current company in 1994 originally doing only dozer and backhoe work. It evolved into the plumbing arena and he had to get permits and such. During that time, he learned about and got into the underground camera and jetting business, which is mostly what the business does now. It’s considered a “plumbing” company, although dad has never been a plumber. He always had to employ one, though and now, both my sons are licensed plumbers. Corey has his master plumber’s license and Casey has a journeyman’s license.
The boys began working for my dad when they were teenagers. Originally, it was just to do the extra work, the grunt work. Wheelbarrowing dirt out of the way or digging trenches, that kind of stuff. And it was just as needed because for the last 15 or so years, Dad’s only had one or two regular employees and in the last 10 or so years, that’s been older men like himself. Not young men who could lift and heft and work hard, but older men who were a little more feeble and less agile and able-bodied. I felt okay with that and I was happy about the experience it gave them. Most kids their age had no clue about the real work-a-day world, ya know? My boys did and they were learning all kinds of stuff about using tools and how things work. Most of the time, they’d work pretty much full time during the summer months. Soon though, dad started talking about when Corey graduated and could come in full time and all this crap about “handing down” the business to him one day.
That made me nervous. My dad is a workaholic. Even in his mid-seventies now, you can’t keep him still. He can barely get around sometimes but insists on working. It worries me to death but he’s as bullheaded as he is anything else, so you can’t tell him anything.
My dad has always been what some would call a “loudmouth”. Ha ha. Sometimes that’s a more apt description than others, but he’s very outspoken, opinionated and pretty judgemental. Ever since I was old enough to realize it, I have seen that people either love or hate my dad. They either get his brusque manner and laugh at his blustery speech or they despise his attitude and think he’s a blowhard. I guess on both sides there’s a little truth, but in these past few years, he seems to have leaned even more toward the brusque/harsh side of his personality. I think some of it is just the growing older process but the boys say he makes remarks about how he’s lived to the age his older brother and father were when they died so now he’s just “living on borrowed time” which is ridiculous since our days are numbered by God, not our ancestors!! I don’t understand why he would think this way when he knows better.
So anyway, I tell you all of that so you might understand just a little why I have wanted my boys to not be working with or for my dad. It has made them bitter and hard, more so for my youngest for some reason. He’s never been a really ‘soft’ kinda guy anyway so that may just be his natural tendency. But it is so worrisome. Especially when he also lives right beneath my parents, ya know? He doesn’t really escape that stuff at all. The boys don’t really have a grandfather relationship with him since he has treated them more like employees, disappointing employees at that, than like grandsons. I have worried for their self-image and sense of self-worth for years because of how Dad is with them.
I know that sounds horrible of me, but it’s just the truth. Telling you otherwise, pretending otherwise, doesn’t change the facts of the matter. My parents harbor a LOT of negativity, which is one reason I don’t go around very much. It just drains me. It makes me feel ill, beaten down, hopeless and sad. I struggle with depression enough as it is, and so I’ve found that my battle with it is easier if I don’t spend a ton of time with them. Yes, that DOES make me sad, but self-preservation is important especially when I tend to become non-functional when I get in a deeply depressed state. I pulled myself out of that once and I don’t want to ever have to do it again. Is that wrong of me? To guard my emotional, and also my physical, well-being? If it is wrong, then I don’t know how to cope otherwise because spending time with them, lots of time, will inevitably lead to me spiraling into a horrible place where I shut down and then don’t take care of anyone or anything. I’m not sure how they live in that darkness. It’s like a tangible cloud of negativity and animosity. They can’t speak about someone without pointing out all the perceived or concocted flaws the person has, they can’t be encouraging about any situation that isn’t exactly what they would choose for themselves, they are judgemental of everyone and don’t even think that your past won’t follow you toward them because they will never let you forget that thing you did but no longer do, no matter how much you have changed.
So… I feel like I’m rambling and I honestly don’t know how to end this post. Apparently, the start date has been moved up to January 9 from January 23 so it’s even more of a time crunch! Melissa wants to paint some of the walls so the apartment isn’t so “vanilla/boring” so she and I will go up a day or two after Christmas and stay for a couple days to do that. For that, we’re having to decide which vehicle to take. They have one vehicle between them, a 4WD pickup, we have our 4WD “second” vehicle (a pickup, too) and our new car, the Challenger, which we’ve never had in snow before. It looks like it would be best if we took the car, but then there’s the issue of weather and Tommy’s insane obsession with keeping the car spotless. Yeah, right! I want it to stay awesome-looking too, but there’s only so much you can do if you actually want to use the vehicle, ya know? So anyway, I think we can get everything we’d need in there since the back seats fold down… you know, step stools, extension handles and all the painting material. Then we’ll need to go buy paint unless she plans to do that here, then we’ll have to haul it up with us along with some air mattresses, clothes & food items. The apartment is central to EVERYTHING almost, so running out to get anything we’d need won’t be a problem as long as the weather holds. Then the guys will come up with a pickup load of stuff that weekend, I guess. And we’ll be ready to start the actual moving process.
The kids are going back up there this weekend to finalize some stuff, and look at one more apartment that will now be empty to see if they like it better. I think they’ve settled on this first floor one though even though the other is a tad bigger, it’s on the third floor. With their dog, it will be a lot easier to be on ground level plus only first-floor apartments can have barbecues! They grill out a LOT! So…
I’m trying to steel myself for the wild rush to begin. I’m praying for strength and focus and to stay well so I can help them all I can! I’m taking advantage of every opportunity to be with them while they’re getting all their ducks in a row. I’m not sure how I’ll survive this, but I know I will. Like I said, I’m reminding myself multiple times a day that God promises to take care of us, to prosper us and not harm us. I just need to stop looking at how much my heart hurts and focus on waiting to see what God’s going to do with this big change in all our lives.
Try to overlook me while I process everything, okay? Thanks.