ADDENDUM: This post, originally began on November 1, has been a tad delayed by life and sickness and monumental elections and dental appointments …. you know, the normal stuff that happens to me. 😉 So anyhow, I wanted to explain why this post starts off talking about my birthday but ends up over a week later! Hey, that’s how I roll!! Read on:::
Well folks, it’s that time of year again. The leaves have turned all my favorite colors, the air is getting that “crisp-clear” feeling, the days are shorter and nights are longer and nippier.
It’s my birthday!
I don’t know about you, but in my “old age”, I’ve become pretty ambivalent about the anniversary of me rolling around. I was about 19 or so when I realized that birthdays were not going to be as fun as an adult as they’d been when I was a kid. I was a young married woman, probably working at the time, but I don’t recall where. And we were feeling the squeeze of real life around the wallet/pocketbook area. Ha ha. Yeah, those money struggles had become real and I was still figuring out how to deal with it.
I’d never known a thing about finances in our family growing up. Mom and Dad never let us know if money was tight and my sister and I never lacked for anything we really needed and while we certainly didn’t get whatever we asked for, we didn’t want for anything, either. We always had everything we needed, so I was clueless about money management or dealing with lack.
Boy, did I make up for that as an adult! Wow! I don’t talk about this a lot because it tends to make Tommy, my husband, feel bad. So understand, it’s not that he doesn’t make good money. He has a good-paying job and does tons of side jobs to earn extra when he can. But diabetes is expensive. That’s all I can figure. It’s healthcare that keeps us in a chokehold financially.
And don’t even get me started on that.
I was talking about my birthday. So I have this….uh…sorta dream, I guess. To me, it’s just more of an idea or a desire. I’m 49 today. Forty-nine. For-tee. Nine-uh. HAVE MERCY!! When on earth did I get this old?!?!
It’s not that I don’t FEEL old. Trust me, I do. I often say I have the mind of a much younger person in the body of a MUCH older person and the two never have the same agenda. As I’ve said about the name of the blog, My Life in Dog Years, I feel TONS older than my actual age and I blame diabetes for that. But still… I’m not ready to be almost-50! See? I can’t even enjoy being 49, I have to obsess about how close to 50 I am now. Bahaha!
this will SO be me… LOL!
Okay, so here’s the thing. I lost about 30 pounds last year riding my bicycle and just trying to be healthier. It was AWESOME to actually drop those pounds when it’s such a hard thing to do as a type one. Taking the insulin hormone and also thyroid hormone, it’s just very hard to drop any weight doing the same things other people do.
So… being SO sick these past almost-three months (I’m still dealing with congestion issues, random coughing fits/asthma attacks and my voice still isn’t fully recovered, so I’m still that cross between Mickey Mouse and a zombie from The Walking Dead.
Back to it being my birthday…so yeah, I’m closer to that milestone of 50. And the dream or desire I have is to be more fit by the time I turn 50. So at this point, where I’ve gained back the weight I’d lost and I’m frustrated about it. But honestly, I can’t change it, as in that I can’t undo it. I guess it makes me even madder when I think about having to “redo” or “re-lose” all the weight I’d gotten rid of and then more! I would LOVE to be at least 50 pounds lighter. Not to match my age, ha ha ha! But because I think I would feel good, at least tons better, with that much off me. And I could be “satisfied” with myself at that weight. But I don’t want to set that goal and not hit it. So I am just saying that I want to weigh less by the time my 50th birthday rolls around. In my mind, I want to weigh at least 30 pounds less. And I think that’s doable.
After being so sick all this time and still not completely over it, I sure don’t feel like trying to get fit. I can’t really exercise because of difficulty breathing and the asthma issues. And I’ve fallen into the habit of eating some junkie foods, and right now, it’s hard to even think about giving them up.
Now this issue is something I KNOW can be done. I really feel like once I feel better, not sick anymore, it will be easier to switch back to healthier eating. I think because I’ve felt so lousy that I have tried to comfort myself with foods I really love, ya know? Does that make sense? So I think once I am not so sick, I will be much more able to switch to mostly veggies and stuff.
And I haven’t even told you about all my mouth issues. I have about died during all my awful coughing, not only because they were body-wracking coughs, but because I have this broken molar in the back of my mouth. It’s been broken for awhile. I hate going to the dentist, people. Both the physical experience of it and the daggone expense! And this tooth wasn’t hurting me, but occasionally when my mouth would become super-sensitive and reactive to certain foods, it felt like that jagged tooth got sharper. I’m sure it didn’t, but I could sure feel it more than at other times. It had a point and it angled toward the back of my mouth, sorta pointing toward my tonsils. It’s a bottom molar, right under my tongue. So every time I coughed, that thing was stabbing the heck out of my tongue. So much so that by the end of the first few weeks, I had a VERY sore spot and when I finally decided to look at it, there was actually a hole worn in it.
It was EXTREMELY painful. Every time I moved my tongue, it hurt and you can’t do much of anything without moving your tongue. Go ahead and try it, you’ll see. Your tongue moves even when you are just swallowing! So I needed this tooth gone.
My usual dentist had talked about putting a crown on it, but it’s had a filling in it since I was a kid, and of course, that’s been replaced and expanded several times over the years. There obviously wasn’t much actual tooth left. I just couldn’t see sinking more money into it, especially when it seems my teeth just keep getting weaker as I get older. I actually have another tooth right behind this one that’s been broken even longer. It’s on the outside and not as much trouble as this one, but it does also need work of some sort.
And I want you to know, lo and behold, another tooth on the other side had a small part crumble off of it not two days after I’d called the oral surgeon to be put on the call-in list!! GAH!
So yeah, as it would have to happen, the office called me the morning of my birthday to say they’d had a cancellation and could I come in that afternoon. Well, I sure couldn’t afford to pass up the opportunity, so I got to have a tooth pulled for my birthday! Yay. (not)
Now, I’ve had about 3 or 4 other teeth pulled over the years. Like I said, my teeth tend to be really weak. I blame my poor mama for that. Her teeth are exactly the same…they’ll just literally fall apart! So I’ve had several that have broken or just basically split open and crumble out. I’ve never gotten a dry socket with any of them. Not a hint of trouble, really.
But this one… it’s really hurting. And yeah, I ended up with a dry socket! I got it pulled on the first of November, right? By Thursday, I was dying. It had just gotten a ton more painful, so I called the doctor’s office and they had me come in. He rinsed it and packed it and told me to stick to soft foods and all that. So okay… I went home and it really didn’t feel any better.
And remember, this is the week of my birthday. My kids had originally planned to take me camping but when I got so sick, and it turned off cold, we decided to scrap that idea. They told me to figure out what I wanted to do and so I chose something I’d been thinking about for awhile. I wanted to do a Breakout game!
I saw these online a few years ago and thought it would be the most fun thing to do with family or a group of friends, but we’d never had a chance to go. I chose The Hostage scenario for us and got the room booked and all. So when I started hurting so bad, I was crushed at the thought that I might not even get to go or take part.
It ended up working out okay, though, thank God! I didn’t feel great, but at least I wasn’t hurting nearly as bad. We went to Breakout first thing. It was so much fun! If you’ve been thinking about going, I highly recommend it! The kids are all wanting to come back… more likely with their friends and small groups, but maybe they will let us tag along too.
So the tooth thing… I’m still having trouble with it. The last time I went was two days ago with it hurting like crazy. He found a small bone sliver sticking out of the gum and filed it down, using only topical numbing stuff and this loud, sand-y/drill-y machine that would slip off the bone and hit my gum occasionally. Needless to say, I hurt worse after I left. He asked if I wanted him to pack it again to which I replied, “I dunno, what do you think?” I wanted to say, “You’re the dental expert here, not me.” but I didn’t. He said he could but then I reminded him of how it hurt to have it packed and the packing never seemed to stay in for more than a couple hours after which I am left to fret with trying to keep it in place as long as possible, which hurts, until I finally just take it out, which also hurts. GAH!
So we decided to try it without the packing. He said if I felt like it needed to be packed, I could just come to the office that afternoon and he’d take care of it.
I went home, took a Duexis and grabbed an ice pack, threw off my jeans and sweater and crawled in the bed. I felt a little better after I woke up, so I didn’t go back for packing. As of this morning, November 10, it’s actually feeling a tiny bit better, but I’m afraid to say that, so I won’t. Heh.
If I could only scrounge up some energy and focus, I’d be flying. But that, sadly, is NOT how I roll.
Til next time, my peeps!
I went back for…what’s this? My third appointment? Yeah, my THIRD appointment with Dr. Kim. I already knew I was better. The past two days I’ve had less pain and more energy than I have in months and months!
It’s amazing! I am praising the Lord because I was in sad shape. I didn’t wanna move for the aches all over my body, mostly my neck and shoulders. When those hurt, there’s not a whole lot you can do without hurting, ya know?
She was almost more excited than I was when I rated my pain for her. And then when she felt my neck, she got really fired up!
First of all, my atlas had kept the last adjustment, which in and of itself is a miracle. I never stayed “in” from one appointment to the next with anyone else. Sometimes with my last chiro, I would get out to the parking lot and feel myself “go out” of alignment and just go back in to be adjusted again. The swollen knot at the base of my neck that’s been there for years is almost gone, I have lots more range of motion in my neck.
It is just amazing! I am SO thankful God put Dr. Kim in my path because I was a pitiful mess and just getting worse as the days went by. I know I’m better because I’ve had the energy and presence of mind to start working on this house and folks, I haven’t had the gumption to do any of that in a long time. I went through all the paper that had amassed itself on the bar, got it sorted, filed or tossed as needed and actually cleared the kitchen bar/island. You can’t imagine how much better that makes me feel! I also got the other main counter in the kitchen cleaned and cleared, even cleaning the stove thoroughly and wiping down all the small appliances.
I’m sure that sounds like nothing to most of you, but for me? It’s a big ol’ deal. I’ve been sleeping since I got back just before noon, which is good I guess since I didn’t sleep much last night. It took me forever to get to sleep (it was a little after 1 am) and then I was up a couple different times. Once because my Dexcom kept alarming but I was sleeping through it. Actually, it was my phone alarms (for the Dex) I was sleeping through and the Dex receiver was in the living room, where poor Tommy had fallen sound asleep in the recliner. So he ended up waking me to drink some juice. After that, of course, I had to get up and pee. Sheesh!
Anyhow, I’m trying not to beat myself up for taking such a long nap, but seriously, I probably needed it. I woke up with a slight low, but now I’m doing good and am thinking I’ll tackle another part of the kitchen and make that my goal…getting it completely cleaned.
Since that’s where we come into the house, it’s hard to keep tidy, but I’ve let it go WAY too long in my feel bads and depression til it overwhelmed me so much I froze. I’d look at it and want to clean it, but felt I didn’t know where to start. Sometimes I might even make a tiny stab at cleaning it up, but then I’d get so tired or it would hurt to move so much that I’d just give up.
I got my new TENS/EMS unit, it’s this Ultima Combo TENS/EMS unit, and am working the snot out of it as I type. I went to sleep with it on my neck and shoulders in TENS mode. That’s the nerve stimulation, where it sends pulses of electricity to help alleviate pain in muscles and joints. This one also has an EMS mode, which is Electrical Muscle Stimulation. This is what sports types use to help tone their muscles or work out even more the muscles that need it or are hard to tone other ways. I’ve got this sucker stuck on the flab that has begun to form on my arms. You know, that part of your granny that keeps waving at people even after she stops moving her hand. Like some stalker-type person who wants desperately to be your friend but they’re just so creepy, you can’t even!
- shudder * Arm flab!! I just can’t deal with it. I will wear this thing 24/7 if it’ll keep that off me. (And yes, it works. I Googled it before I ordered the unit. I figure it ought to do more than just keep me from hurting so bad, right?)
That’s pretty much my day so far. I stopped at the pharmacy on the way home and picked up a couple of Tommy’s scripts and now I’m here working on the blog.
I have another post rolling around in my head. I may lay that on you a little later or maybe this weekend. Til then, have a great day and see how many blessings you can count!
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