Tag: stress

#13: things that make a t1d scream!

Advisory:  this post is likely to contain ranting and growling.  You have been warned.

So I am on my last bottle of test strips.  Like, halfway through it, matter of fact.  I get my pump and testing supplies from a mail order company.  Most brick-and-mortar pharmacies don’t carry such things, at least I’ve never experienced that in our area.  I have ordered from this one company as long as I’ve had my pump, so over 12 years now.  I’ve had various insurance companies in that time and never had a problem.

Until now.  The supply company will usually call about a week before delivery is scheduled to make sure of what I need them to send.  I got that call about three weeks ago.  All I needed on this shipment was test strips.  Fine, they say.  Two weeks later and no strips.  I call to see what’s up.  I’m on hold off and on for quite awhile.  The lady seems confused and finally tells me someone from shipping will call me.

The next day, I get the call and am informed that the company (CCS Medical, for clarity) is not contracted with my “new” insurance (new since January!) and I’ll have to get supplies elsewhere.  When I asked for some suggestions, I was told, “Call your insurance company.”

So I did.  That lady seemed a little confused too or at least she had problems finding any suppliers for me to contact.  Finally, she gives me a company, Liberty Medical (of all places!) so I hang up with her and call the number she gave me for Liberty.  I’m on hold forEVER listening to the endless “We will be with you shortly” messages until suddenly the message changes to “If you’ll leave your name, number and info, we will call you back.”  Okay, so I did that.  Two days later, NO call back.

I’m pretty ticked by now, as you might imagine.  I go online and send Liberty an email.  The addy is something like libertycares[at]liberty-blah-blah-blah… yeah.  I’m not buying that!  I have STILL not received ANY response whatsoever!!

I am fuming now, so I call the lady at my endo’s office who sets patients up with new pumps, CGMs and checks insurance coverage for such things.  She was supposed to be seeing about getting me a Dexcom CGM since this new insurance is supposed to cover them.  (more about that in a moment)  I dial in her extension directly and get her machine.  I leave her a message with the info, letting her know that I’m going to be completely out of strips soon.  That was around 10 am, so I really expected to get a call back, but nope.

Next day, I wait til after lunch and call the office again.  This time I dial the DNE (Diabetes Nurse Educator) who happens to be my endo’s wife as well.  Her message informs me that she’ll be out of the office til Tuesday, but I leave a message for her anyway in case she’s checking them while she’s gone.  Seriously, this office has always been great about returning calls so I am really puzzled by the lack of communication from them.

I then hang up and call right back to leave basically the same message for my endo’s assistant.  I make sure to tell ALL of them that I am going to be OUT OF STRIPS soon.

For those who don’t get this, test strips are crucial to knowing what’s going on with my sugars, to deciding how much insulin to give or how much to eat/not eat.  They basically tell you what you need to do to keep your diabetes in good control.

angry face

Yes, I can go buy them out of pocket, but I would MUCH rather not have to do that, as you might imagine.  I HAVE blasted insurance for this very reason!  ARGH!!

So, I STILL have no contact, no response from ANYONE and I’m skipping tests to try and make these stupid things last til Monday hoping that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE will flippin’ contact me and get this straightened out.

I am SO mad you can’t even imagine.  WHY do they do things like this?  From stupid CCS (who could have informed me instead of just not sending the shipment) to Anthem who could have been a lot more helpful in making sure I could get my supplies to flippin’ Liberty which is a total fail in the customer service department and who I will NOT do business with if there’s any way around it.  And now my endo’s office!??!  SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE?!?!

screaming man

Sorry for the rant, but this is so unnecessary.  If these industries were TRULY for the patients, this wouldn’t happen.  I guess I’ll be heading to Wally’s to pick up some cheap-o generic strips til I can get someone to do their job out there.  sigh

Happy Mom’s day & have a great weekend!!  🙂



frankly friday: how about an inhaled glucagon?


Say what?  Yes, I just read about this new stuff that could be coming out soon.  Instead of depending on someone who is with you knowing how to mix and inject a traditional glucagon pack for you, they could just spray it up your nose!

Locemia Solutions

That’s a pretty awesome idea!  This company who’s been doing research, Locemia Solutions, has basically been working in secret on this stuff but is now sharing that they are ready to apply for all the FDA crapola to be put on the market!

For those of you who don’t know, THIS is the current and ONLY method for delivering glucagon:

As you can see, it’s NOT a simple task even for someone who’s used to drawing syringes and giving injections!  And realize that glucagon is an EMERGENCY measure.  It’s meant to be administered by whoever is near you when you are unconscious or unable to eat and drink on your own because your blood sugar has gone extremely low, so if that person or persons don’t happen to know you’re a diabetic, or even if they do, chances are they won’t know what to do with this stuff.  There ARE detailed instructions inside the case, but seriously, do YOU wanna depend on someone in a freak-out moment doing it all right and possibly saving your life?

Me neither!

About the worst they could do giving a shot of spray in your nose is give you a nosebleed, right?  And how much less freaked-out might they be having to do that instead of mixing, drawing and giving an injection?!  Let us know, any non-T1Ds out there…which would YOU rather do for your friend or loved one?

This was especially close to home for me this morning because last night, I did it again.  insert furious face here  I have had my pump for about 12 years now.  I have NEVER taken a break from it, never opted to go back to MDIs (multiple daily injections) for awhile.  Getting that thing really saved my life, and as much as I hate it sometimes…like when the tubing gets hung on a doorknob as I’m working in the house or when I’m struggling to find a comfortable place to wear the thing with some more fashionable clothing, I wouldn’t part with it!

Maybe that’s why it’s such a habit for me to just press that button and dose without stopping to think sometimes.  That’s pretty much what I did last night.  Yes, again!!  I was SO angry with myself that I probably shot it a bit lower just from that emotional surge, ya know?  (Tell me I’m not the only one who does that…intense emotion can drop my sugar!  Do any of you experience that??)  I was up watching TV by myself since Tommy had gone on to bed.  He’s staying super-tired from all his projects out in the garage so after trying to settle in with him, I found I just wasn’t sleepy yet and thought I’d catch up on something from my watchlist on Hulu.  I had the munchies for some reason and wanted to eat a few chips.  I rarely buy those, but heh there was a special at Kroger, so I had some of my fave bbq chips.  I faintly recall bending over to get them out of the pantry while simultaneously pressing my trusty button…and I have no clue what I gave.  After I realized what I’d done and was in the middle of trying to treat myself for the hypo (about 20 minutes later) I looked on my pump to see how big a dose I’d given.  SEVEN UNITS!!  What?!  WHY on earth did I do that?!?!  I don’t even know other than it is such a habit for me now!!  Especially after that last episode doing this kind of thing?!?!  WHY!?!?  I could have just strangled myself, really.  SO angry!!  And scared.  Not a good combination when you’re trying to raise a low blood sugar.

If any of you Ds out there have had this sort of issue, how did you STOP yourself from going auto-pilot with your pump dosing?  I am thinking of putting some tape or some sort of fuzzy sticker on the button so I’ll stop and think about what I’m doing.  Maybe I should just put the whole pump in a ziplock or some sort of case so that I have to take it out to use it?  Have you tried any tactics like that to retrain yourself to test first or at least THINK before you dose??  PLEASE don’t tell me I’m the only one who does this?!?!


Tommy commanded (yes, he did!) me to go pick up a glucagon.  I haven’t yet, but we will probably do that tomorrow.  I’m getting ready to call the endo’s office right now for a prescription AND to find out if they can help with another insurance-related problem that is making me furious.  Maybe I’ll share about that once I ever get any hint that there’s a solution.  SIGH

Happy (& SAFE) weekend to you all!   Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms.



worst patient ever

So today, Hubby has been…let’s say, exploring his limits.  He thinks when a doctor tells him to take it easy, that means to just do what he always does, only slower.


Today, our boys needed some help using a laser they were not familiar with on the job.  They brought it up to the house first thing so their dad could help them set it up and teach them how to figure the settings.   It was all very confusing and boring, but soon they felt confident with it and took off to their job.

Ever since yesterday, Hubby has been saying he was going to try driving today, wanted to go get his hair cut and price new tires for our truck at the local tire shop.  I told him he was NOT going to drive, but first thing this morning he was insisting on it again.

The boys called to asked their dad a question a couple different times, so soon as I was dressed, he said we “needed”  to go check on them.  “It won’t take long,” he assured me.

Yeah, right.

I had decided if he was going to insist on driving, we might as well take Max with us.  He loves to ride and if we plan to take him to Nashville in May, he needs all the ‘practice’ and time in the truck.  I said he loves to ride, and he does, but he’s not crazy about his tether.

This is SO not Max, but a nice doggie who would sit still and let someone take a photo. This is the tether we use.

We HAD to get the tether because Max is like a rubber ball, bouncing all over the cab, pushing buttons and knocking mirrors and rolling down windows…he’s a real mess.  But he does okay with the tether, the worst thing is that he goes around and around in the seat til he’s got it twisted up and pins himself to the seat.

Anyhow, so we get to the job site and next thing I know, Hubby is attempting to hobble down to the main area with the boys right behind him ready to catch him if he fell.  *shaking my head*

He had to do some re-figuring on the settings, and studying the plans and shooting the grade… and a bunch of other stuff.  We ended up being there for almost 3 hours.

SHEESH!!  Thankfully, somehow God made me calm and it didn’t bother me in the least to be stuck at a job site with the dog and absolutely nothing to do.  Trust me, that is completely out of character for me.  And the other great thing I’m thankful for is how good Max was!  We walked and walked, we sat in the truck and watched/barked at people, we sat nicely in the parking lot and watched intently all the goings-on with the big equipment.  He was such an awesomely good puppy!!  He was definitely glad to get home, but even more glad, it would appear, to get to sleep:

Sleepy Max--glad to be home!

Sleepy Max–so glad to be home!

So all that is great and I’m thankful that Hubby seems to be doing so well, I just hope he’s not pushing himself too hard and makes his healing take longer, ya know?

Something that happened yesterday has me upset and totally confused.  My sister called about a week ago wanting to do Easter dinner the night before Easter (I don’t know why) at her house.  I said, sure, what should I fix.  She said layer salad.  I said sure, great.  And that was that.

Both my boys’ birthdays are in April.  Precisely two weeks apart, matter of fact.  I dunno how we managed that, but I assure you it was not planned.  Anyhow, it always makes for a very hectic month what with winter coming to an end, spring blowing in and making it easier to do things outside, then Easter and their two birthdays, either of which sometimes will fall on Easter weekend.  This year, it’s my baby son.

Last I knew, his wife told me she wanted to plan a cookout for him, but she’d let me know.  It depended on when her parents could come.  (honest moment here:  that made me kinda upset, although I did NOT let on, but why did it matter when they could come for HIS birthday?  argh… obviously, I’m a little hyper-sensitive when it comes to anything to do with them, still, I found out just today and because I pressed that she’s putting off this cookout for a week and I can only assume it has to do with them and that bothers me)

ANYhow…so yesterday, I’m talking to my mom on the phone and she informs me, as if I didn’t know anything, that we were going to do Easter dinner at sis’s house, and “If you wanna come, fine and if you don’t, that’s fine too.”

Yep.  Paint a blank, wide-eyed expression on me here.  I have NO CLUE why she said that or what was up her butt when she did.  All I know is that my sister’s car was at Mom’s almost all day Sunday.  I didn’t talk to her Monday and thus, she wasn’t told about Hubby’s accident, sometime or other, she found out though, possibly from DIL2, but it doesn’t matter.  I wasn’t TRYING to keep it from her, I just didn’t want her to worry OR to hear what I did when she asked me how he was.. that accusatory tone and the questions as if he could have somehow avoided it or that he brought it on himself.


I am just bewildered, as I always am when she does stuff like this.  She went on, after her “come or don’t, fine” remarks, to request that I fix a casserole.  I swear, I am so tempted to just deliver the foods and leave.  Honestly?  If I did, they would all wonder what was wrong with me.  I can just about bet you Mom would act as if something was wrong with me and either deny she said that to me or act as if I took it wrong.


I just don’t know.  I’m just way past sick of this crap.  I dunno if Sis was up there complaining about me all day Sunday and that’s why Mom was crappy to me or if she was just that way on her own.  I just don’t know and I’m so sick of trying to figure out this garbage.

If the opportunity presents itself, I may pull Sis aside and ask her if she had told Mom she didn’t want me there or if Mom just said that to me on her own.  I don’t know.  There has been a lot of stuff in our sermons lately about making relationships right, but I just don’t know how to fix anything with my family.  Where is the line between being who you are, being your own person and trying to be what God wants me to be and making peace with them??  Why do I need to “stuff” my own interests and personality in order to be acceptable to them?

I am at my wit’s end with them.

And… just for the record, I’m not sure the 450mg dose of Wellbutrin is going to be much more beneficial than the 300mg.  It’s just not doing anything “more”… just not worth the extra meds, ya know?  I will see the PA in a couple weeks so we’ll see what she has to say.  Hopefully it won’t be to just chew me out for upping the dose on my own!

Genesis 37:5, 10-11“Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more.

10 But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers indeed come to bow ourselves to the ground before you?” 11 And his brothers were jealous of him,but his father kept the saying in mind.”